5 Airport Etiquette Tips

First-time travellers or veteran frequent flyer, we're all guilty at one point or another of being rude and contributing the the hell that is airport travel. Here are our top 5 tips for airport etiquette, in the hopes that everyone will just behave themselves and make it a bit more pleasant for everyone!

Be nice to the staff - Yes, you're tired. Yes, your flight has been delayed. Yes, you've been standing in a queue for an hour too long. But that's no excuse to yell at someone who is genuinely trying to help you. Airport staff, especially people at ticketing counters and security, see the very worst in people every day. Why not show a little compassion and smile at them, or thank them for their help? You never know, it may even get you an upgrade.

Be prepared for security - Chances are, you've been through security. You know what's about to happen. You know that your laptop, coat and shoes need to go through the x-ray, along anything metal you might be carrying. So why would you wear huge lace-up boots and stuff your laptop deep into your bag so you have to rummage around for it while everyone rolls their eyes at you? With a little foresight and consideration, you can zip through in under a minute. And don't whine about your water bottle. No one wants to hear that.

Control your kids - It can be tough wrangling passports, boarding passes, diaper bags, and hyperactive two-year-olds. Nobody is denying that. But if you're flying with kids it's your job to make sure they're entertained enough not to run screaming down the concourse throwing wads of gum at people (true story!). Have games, snacks and other diversions ready to go, or take turns walking around. Many airports have play areas or family rooms, so take advantage of them.

Don't make inapropriate jokes - Let's get one thing straight: you're not funny. Jokes about bombs in your carry-on, hijacking the plane, or anything else that even hints at threatening the safety of the people around you are totally inappropriate and will be taken seriously by staff. One smart remark about anthrax or cocaine will get you bounced off your flight and explaining yourself to the local police faster than you can say 'cavity search'!

Don't hog the baggage carousel - Your flight has landed, you're off the plane, and all you want to do is be on your way. Problem is, that's what everyone else wants too. So what do we all do? We jam up to the baggage carousel with our trolleys and 20 family members squeezed as close to that little door as we possibly can. The secret is, if you move around to the other side, you'll have plenty of room and not be delayed by more than 30 seconds. While you're at it, please wait behind the yellow line so people around you can see and grab their bags. And seriously, keep your kids off the conveyor belt. It's not that kind of carousel.

Top 5 Little-Known Travel Don'ts

Guyana: Don't stop hooting/honking.

Guyanese drivers seem to be leading the worldwide revolution in car hooter functionality. Not content with it as a vaguely obnoxious, sometimes-necessary warning tool, they have used it to develop a complex, quasi-SONAR system of urban navigation – where you hoot to let others know when you're taking off, when you're turning, when you're overtaking, and when you're approaching an intersection (really blast the thing, if you're not planning on stopping). If you ever find yourself behind the wheel on a Guyanese road, unless you want to be invisible, don't let up on your hooter.

Singapore: Don't chew.

Although somewhat of a cliché by now, Singapore's famous ban on chewing gun merits inclusion in this list, if only because of the (quite adorable) steadfastness of their position on the issue. Eighteen years of international incredulity (not to mention, significant teasing) led to a referendum on the matter in June 2010 – when government officials decided to 'stick' to their proscription of the corrupting chew, prompting wild celebrations on the part of train seats around the city.

Mauritania: Don't... do anything, really.

A veritable land of 'Thou Shalt Nots', it'd probably be shorter to make a list of the things you CAN do in Mauritania... Nevertheless, topping the list must be its draconian stance against public displays of affection between men and women. Not even married couples are permitted to hold hands in public in Mauritania – which might go some way toward explaining it's relative unpopularity as a global honeymoon destination. Another oddity: in public, women can't lie on their backs, and men shouldn't lie on their stomachs.

Micronesia: Don't you rub your belly like that, I know what that means....

Hungry? Full? Feeling queasy? Need to tuck your shirt in a little more? All these good reasons to rub your belly, but in Micronesia, they're the equivalent of putting on your best fishnets and hanging out on a street corner by the docks after nightfall. That's right – in Micronesia, if you want to let someone know that you're, um, interested, the quickest way would be to give your gut a little rub in their presence. Gastronomy-themed pick-up lines are optional.

North Korea: Don't mention that gigantic skyscraper over there.

Taking the idea of an 'elephant in the room' to its absurd conclusion, North Korea's abandoned Ryugyong Hotel in downtown Pyongyang – a 105-storey, pyramid-shaped concrete affair, once called “the worst building in the history of mankind” by Esquire magazine – is curiously absent from all official photographs of the capital city. And while 'disappearing' things from photographs wasn't invented by North Korea, the public's herculean act of 'double-think' has ensured that even while in Pyongyang, it's hard (in fact, potentially hazardous) to get anyone to admit that the building actually exists.

Construction started on the Ryugyong Hotel in 1987, with builders giving themselves the optimistic target of completing it in 1989 (at which time, it would have been the tallest hotel in the world...and definitely still the ugliest). However, in 1992, pesky construction problems, such as crumbling concrete, and sagging girders, significantly stalled the project – before it was totally abandoned in 1996 due to a lack of funds, electricity shortages, and widespread famine. A national embarrassment, and a monument to the bizarre workings of the North Korean government, if you ever find yourself in Pyongyang, fight your urge to compliment the skyline.

Image of Ryugyong Hotel from here.